Adam has just returned from doing a bit for the Tonight Show, but quickly goes on a rant about ‘foreskin reconstruction assholes.’ He welcomes today’s News girl, also the new co-host of The Parent Experiment, Susanna Brisk. They talk about Adam’s relationship with her husband, and also discuss Susanna’s views on her husband’s high profile clients.

In the news, a woman was found dead in a chimney in Bakersfield. Adam and Susanna joke about how she should have done it around Christmastime. Susanne jokes about stalking people in Australia, and Adam asks her about being an Australian Jew. He complains about Jews ruining his bagel experience, and speaks a bit more about Susanna’s husband and male emotions.

Also in the news, football player Troy Polamalu has had his hair insured for over a million dollars. Adam goes on a huge rant about ‘guys with stupid spirituality’ and says he’s ‘sick of people expressing themselves.’ In relation to the news, he thinks Troy should cut his hair above the uniform name, or get out of the league. The last news story deals with a guy who survived a suicide by crashing through the rear windshield of a car.

Harland Williams comes in and teases Adam about wearing make-up and being dressed all spiffy. They then go into a very random conversation about things lighting on fire and black people. Adam talks more about his Tonight Show bit, and how he realized he needed his glasses to read the cue cards. He and Harland also talk about having problems with spelling.

Next up, a round of the Same Name Game. Adam takes your calls to figure out celebrities with similar sounding names who look nothing alike. Harland has difficulties understanding the game throughout.

In the rest of the news, the UK Mirror reports that cocaine makes global warming worse, as it relates to deforestation. Adam says we can’t help it that people like cocaine, and admits that he himself thinks it’s awesome. Harland then tells a great story about being at Machu Piccu and getting high off coca leaves before exploring the ruins. Adam goes into a bit more depth about his experiences with coke growing up, and the reasons why he doesn’t do it anymore. The final story involves the Obama kid’s daily lives, and Adam stages a debate at the dinner table to show everyone how unresponsive his stepfather is.

Get show dates and listen to Harland’s podcast ‘The Harland Highway’ at: www.harlandwilliams.com

And hear more from Susanna on The Parent Experiment, or by visiting: www.susannabrisk.com

Executive Producer: Donny Misraje
Producers: Mike Dawson & Mike Lynch
Audio: Mike Dawson
Writer: Mike Lynch
Production Engineer: Logan Moy
Search: Chris Laxamana
Build and Edit: Logan Moy
Phones: Brian Meyer
Show Summary: Matt Fondiler

[Show as slideshow]

www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRaW-McaQ2c

Adam immediately begins discussing his hatred for Naomi Campbell and her connection with the blood diamond industry. Teresa also apologizes for something she said in a recent live show, and Adam talks about guest comedian Jeff Ross being totally on top of his game during the recording (episode will air Labor Day).

In the news, the top story revolves around the FBI’s probing of two Yemenites arrested in Amsterdam after suspicious items turned up in their luggage. Teresa explains the confusing misinformation surrounding the case, and Adam goes on a rant about the FBI’s real role in thwarting terror. The whole story reminds Teresa of a recent interview she did with Avi, the head of El Al security, and Adam imitates his voice to bring the guest back on the show to offer a wide range of what’s on his mind.

Also in the news is a discussion of the full, new Dancing with the Stars line up. Teresa points out that two women from the new cast have hit on Adam at one point, and Adam recalls an awkward conversation with one of their husbands. After a report of Elton John still considering the role of American Idol Judge, Avi returns to read the latest ad.

Adam then takes a series of listener calls asking for relationship advice. Topics range from cuddling with the wife to having her track your every move on GPS. Adam also offers his perspective on men’s intimacy issues, and doles advice for online dating.

In the rest of the news, a new study shows that moderate drinking could be the secret to living a long life. Adam just wants to know ‘can’t we agree on this shit?’ They talk about the relationship between socioeconomic class and alcohol intake, and Adam suggests that the report has many holes in it. Lastly, a young jury member posted the results of a trial on her Facebook wall before the sentence was handed down. Everyone agrees she didn’t mean any harm, but her cat looks smarter.

Executive Producer: Donny Misraje
Producers: Mike Dawson & Mike Lynch
Audio: Mike Dawson
Writer: Mike Lynch
Production Engineer: Katie Levine
Search: Chris Laxamana
Build and Edit: Chris Laxamana
Phones: Brian Myer
Show Summary: Matt Fondiler

[Show as slideshow]

Bald Bryan helps open the show by saying he feels let down for his recent performance at the Live Show. Adam compliments him on his soundboard work, and talks about his love of drops in general. He also compliments Teresa on her sense of humor, and points out how much he and Lynette agrees she contributes to the show. Teresa also talks about working with Jack Silver again, the adjusting to AM radio.

After a discussion about their depressing families, Adam and Teresa jump into the news. Teresa talks about Mad Men creator Matt Weiner being cut off at the Emmys, and both she and Adam agree they are sick of Betty White. Teresa also talks about The Huffington Post’s offer to destroy Glen Beck’s reputation and take him off the political map, but Adam says he doesn’t find him hateful. They talk a bit more about his politics, but Adam concludes that we’ve got ‘bigger fish to fry’ and that he’s not really causing any harm.

Larry Miller comes in the studio, agreeing whole-heartedly, and joking about having last week’s bit stuck in his head for the entire week. Everyone tells stories of having Bald Bryan’s drops stuck in their head, and Larry and Adam talk about belly dancers who must smell awful. Larry plays a round of Hypothetical Road trips, and has hilarious confusion over The Hills.

Adam welcomes Shim Moore to the show, lead singer of the Australian rock band Sick Puppies. Shim talks about the band’s new record, ‘Tri-Polar’ and also discusses moving out to LA five years ago. Adam asks him about being the lead singer of the band, and what it’s like to have requests that aren’t met. Shim then plays the band’s new single, ‘Maybe,’ and Teresa remarks that he must get a lot of women. Everyone talks about Australian social skills, and what it’s like to grow up being bullied.

In the rest of the news, the top story involves Paris Hilton’s felony cocaine possession. Adam talks about ‘no tolerance’ vs. ‘zero tolerance,’ and Shim discusses the Australian DUI process in relation to Mel Gibson. Teresa wraps up the news discussing the Chilean miners that are still trapped, and Adam imagines what it would be like to entertain them.

Find out where Shim and the band are playing at: www.sickpuppies.net

Also be sure to check out: www.larrymillerhumor.com

Executive Producer: Donny Misraje
Producers: Mike Dawson & Mike Lynch
Audio: Mike Dawson
Writer: Mike Lynch
Production Engineer: Logan Moy & Katie Levine
Search: Chris Laxamana
Build and Edit: Katie Levine
Phones: Brian Meyer
Show Summary: Matt Fondiler

[Show as slideshow]

www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKpjWNINWNg

Adam opens the show with What Can’t Adam Complain About. He takes suggestions from the 200 drunk people yelling at him, and also makes fun of a video clip from his favorite porn, Taboo II. He also complains about the new vortex beer bottles, and says they should have worked on making the beer taste better.

Teresa jumps into the news, with the top story involving Glen Beck’s rally to honor MLK’s speech about restoring America. She also talks about Paris Hilton’s recent arrest for cocaine possession, and Adam says we all need to cut her a break and let her be a coke whore if that’s what she wants to do. Teresa also tells a particularly gruesome story about a young boy putting a used condom in his mouth, and Isaac Hayes offers his comments on all of the stories.

Adam and Donny get into a heated discussion about living together and Donny wanting money for the oven he bought before he moved out. They reflect on what their landlord said was ‘the most disgusting apartment I’ve ever seen.’ He and Donny also complain about the swamp cooler Adam used to own, and Adam vents about his cheap father.

Comedian Dov Davidoff joins the stage and talks to Adam about his relationship with his wife. He and Dov talk about women’s love of drama, whereas guys need to keep a level head if they want the relationship to last forever. Dov also talks about his girlfriend who he met and had a threesome with, and also shows Teresa the life affirming stuff he has written on his arms. Adam and Dov both complain about their ‘crazy hippie intellectual’ moms, and Tersesa points out there’s ‘something macho yet vulnerable’ in Dov.

Adam performs This Week In Rage, counting down the things that pissed him off the most in the last seven days. He also gets in jabs about mini croissants, and people who try to defend spiders.

In the last part of the news, Teresa talks about Madonna’s parenting skills. Adam can’t understand why the kids are being taught French, and he and Dov commiserate to eating from a ‘microbiotic diet.’ The last story deals with Bristol Palin and The Situation both being new cast members on Dancing with the Stars, and Adam comes up with a fantastic idea to keep The Situation’s shirt on.

To see more from Dov, check out: www.dovlive.com

Executive Producer: Donny Misraje
Producers: Mike Dawson & Mike Lynch
Audio: Mike Dawson
Writer: Mike Lynch
Production Engineer: Logan Moy
Search: Katie Levine
Build and Edit: Katie Levine
Show Summary: Matt Fondiler

[Show as slideshow]

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4XxvknH9o8

It’s been some time since Adam took listener calls, so he’s very excited to jump right into it. The first caller just wants to see him perform live, and Adam tells her details about his two upcoming shows tomorrow at the Melrose Improv. Another caller asks him about ‘Mangria,’ and afterwards, Adam gets into a conversation with Bald Bryan about Undercover Boss and going to college at USC.

Next, Adam takes a ‘controversial call’ from a criminal defense attorney, who explains the standard excuses that various ethnicities use when involved in a domestic violence situation. Adam goes on a rant about America always kicking its own ass for being racist, but really we are more selective than that. He talks more about the education system, and says that we are doing a disservice by pretending it’s everyone’s problem, when it’s really focused on specific minorities.

Adam also takes a call from an Australian listener, and contemplates going Down Under sometime. They talk about everything from racing cars to comedy music to the tax system. Adam also asks some questions about whether or not listeners abroad feel a disconnect when he rants about local issues, but he’s happy to hear that most listeners are just glad to have something to laugh about.

The next caller asks Adam about the decline of boxing popularity, and how he thinks it can be brought back into the main fold. Adam suggests some fights he’d like to see, and also some great fights he recalls seeing in the past. Adam also takes a call about personalized license plates, and teases Bryan about family members all named after the same letter.

A female caller would like to know how old is too old to start having a family, and another female caller puts her daughter on the line to do a killer Carolla impression. For the final call of the day, someone asks Adam why he doesn’t try putting his name on a vineyard or wine bottle. Both Adam and Bald Bryan think it’s a spectacular idea.

Add @AdamCarolla on Twitter for updates on when Adam will be taking calls next.

Executive Producer: Donny Misraje
Producers: Mike Dawson & Mike Lynch
Audio: Mike Dawson
Writer: Mike Lynch
Production Engineer: Logan Moy
Search: Katie Levine
Build and Edit: Katie Levine
Phones: Brian Meyer
Show Summary: Matt Fondiler

[Show as slideshow]

www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUNWyXt_i8U

www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGAxNEvuOao